Sewage spills have an upside
Why spend the money on sewer pipe replacements when we the spills can be used to fertilize the half a million dollars worth of trees that we just bought? See, and all this time you thought that the tree purchase made no sense -- now don't you feel silly?
-- Sarasota County Govt. web site, 12/30/04

Why the Y?
City spends $18,000 for "health memberships" at the Young Men's Christian Association for all employees in an effort to reduce health care costs -- nothing like a good healthy Christian workout after a full day of working with asbestos and raw sewage; insert your own Hanz and Franz, Village People or Toxic Avenger joke here
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 12/29/04

Is your Christmas computer a gift or a curse?
Hackers and virus writers rev up the net in an effort to wreck your holidays: All your AOL are belong to us
-- Wired, 12/26/04

Maniac Mansion is back!!!
Story on Wired ||| Downlaod game for free
Hard-core geeks and gamers remember this game well -- the first interactive fiction computer game to use graphics instead of text, it ran on the old Commodore systems; the wildly hysterically funny and intelligent game is back for free -- this is both a huge chunk of computing history and a MUST-HAVE free download for kids of all ages!!! Download it! Download it now!!! Do it, man, what the hell are you waiting for?
-- Wired story dated 12/23/04

We're from the Architectural Review Board and we're here to help
Gondo's take on the ARB story
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 12/22/04

Architectural Review Board could use a little funk
James Brown, George Clinton unavailable for comment
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 12/22/04

Architectural Review Board runs amuck
Taking their cue from George Orwell and Aldous Huxley, the city's ARB wants every single damned building that it can get jurisdiction over to look identical; Jeff Boone and Donald O'Connell try unsuccessfully to point out the stupidity of the endeavor
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 12/21/04

Serial killing?
Venice resident Doree Lamountain is one of three suspicious and similar deaths being investigated in nearby Manatee County; this news coming to you via Venezuela, as local journalism is, well... you know... oh look, a squirrel!
-- Venezuela Electronic News, 12/16/04

Don't be stupid, be a smarty
Come and join the Nazi Party
Local idiot teens watch "The Producers" one too many times, fail to realize that it was written by a Jewish comic; jailarity ensues
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 12/18/04

Punta Gorda building inspectors surprised to discover their own Public Safety building not up to code
Plus comments on this story from Fark
-- Charlotte Sun-Herald, 12/16/04

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes
Gondo Story ||| Herald-Trib story
Citizen boards to be eliminated, two new ones to be created; Boones pushing for more development, Planning Commission, citizens don't want it; more...
-- both stories 12/15/04

Rock the ...I mean Rig the Vote!!!
Vote-rigging software story starting to go national; coming soon to a national news anchor near you: meet Clinton Curtis, who claims to have written software designed to rig the vote in Florida touch-screen elections; see below for earlier links as this story was developing
-- Wired, 12/13/04

Want to see how secure your computer isn't?
Take the pop-up hijacker test
--Secunia Security Corp.

We be growing
Wetlands area, more to be considered for development by council; Joe Walsh unavailable for comment
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 12/11/04

Vote rigging in Florida
Original story ||| Follow-up story
In a sworn affidavit given to the FBI, a computer programmer tells how he developed a program that would rig the vote in Florida; according to the affidavit, program was contracted for by U.S. Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL)
-- Raw Story, 12/06/04 & 12/07/04

Airport manager resigns
Last day is February 11
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 12/11/04

Willson relaunches site
Frosh Councilman Bill Willson revamps his election web site; gone are the "Vote for me and I'll set you free" promises, now he's settling in to be a kinder, gentler Bill; our take? -- needs more cowbell (<-- Windows Media file)
-- BillWillson.com

Permit, permit, who's got the permit?
John Konecnik accuses the city of blocking his building permits at Fisherman's Wharf, city claims Konecnik hasn't filed any permits that the city could have blocked
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 12/08/04

Vote rigging in Florida
Original story ||| Follow-up story
In a sworn affidavit given to the FBI, a computer programmer tells how he developed a program that would rig the vote in Florida; according to the affidavit, program was contracted for by U.S. Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL)
-- Raw Story, 12/06/04 & 12/07/04

The vote rigging affidavit
Clinton Curtis, a Florida computer programmer, tells how he developed a program for U.S. Rep. Tom Feeney (R-FL) that would add invisible buttons to touch voting screens, allowing knowledgeable users the ability to alter voter tabulations
-- The Brad Blog, 12/06/04

Spammers order out for ham
SCVB, still smarting from accusations of spamming, bring a porker to Sarasota to help promote Venice; Hormel execs unavailable for comment
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 12/04/04

Best Gondo headline ever:
"CRA just another tool to Envision Venice" (and that's the real headline)
Developers growing wood, preparing for stiff opposition; business owners get the thrust, invest heavily in latex
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 12/04/04

Web won't let governments hide
In the age of information, government at all levels has had a tendency to become more and more secretive -- thank God for Google
-- Wired, 11/29/04

City pays over half a million for 128 trees
Venice claims it's in a financial crunch, but these trees were such a deal
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 11/27/04

City to union: Take a Midol
Union accuses city of union busting, city accuses union of being hormonally imbalanced
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 11/27/04

Beach bandshell is baaaa-aaack
Former councilman David Farley wanted it so bad he could taste it: a bandshell on the beach; last year: residents opposed it, city hall backed down, residents then approved a $10 million bond; this year: council, city staff starts pushing again, Farley heard laughing in the wings; Maxine Barratt left with stupid look on her face, VTL prez Levine to Barratt: "Told ya so!"
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 11/24/04

AFSCME's Ralph Hamann is not a happy camper
City's union prez accuses city of union-busting activities; Gondo's headline indicates that the union is on strike -- it's not
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 11/24/04

Sarasota serves up spam, egg, sausage and spam -- it's not got much spam in it
Venice Florida! dot com gets a nice mention
-- Wired, 11/22/04

Bell ringers banned at Target
Retailer tells Salvation Army to bugger off; speaking of buggering, Target is offering a 10% discount on anal massage
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, Fark.com 11/20/04

Vatican investigating city manager
Several witnesses report that Black walked on water on city time; local atheist Charles Cheves considers filing separation of church and state lawsuit; Herb Levine, Osama bin Laden surrender; grilled cheese Virgin Mary is available for comment
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 11/17/04

City manager unveils stone tablets
New commandments include: Thou shalt not calleth family in Ohio on city phones, Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's boobies on city computers and Thou shalt take thine vacation when thou art supposed to and getteth thee the hell out of Dodge
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 11/17/04

City to utils whistleblowers: We're sorry but it wasn't our fault
A letter of apology to the utils whistleblowers lays the blame with former city manager George Hunt and former utils director John Lane, as nobody on council, then or now, really knew what was going on; in other news, scientists discover that the Earth really is flat
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 11/13/04

Yes, we need a fountain
Fountains can be a wonderful thing -- take for instance the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain in Hyde Park, which has turned into such a wonderful addition to London's atmosphere and economy
-- Associated Press, 10/12/04

Got sick time?
1) Work for the city, then quit
2) ??????
3) Profit!
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 11/12/04

We're spending $227K on a fountain/wading pool
And it'll only be a few blocks from the beach... ya know, that big thing at the western end of Venice Avenue with all the water in it?
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 11/10/04

Sarasota scientist releases swarm of specially bred flies designed to eat the heads of fire ants -- What could possibly go wrong?
Herald-Trib story ||| Fark discussion thread
-- both 11/10/04

We want the business owners to naturally sell
City still pulling for the CRA, denies recruiting negotiators with the middle name "the"
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 11/06/04

EPA shade meeting canceled
Big revelation -- according to the Gondo, Calamaras had been called in for questioning by EPA investigators; not in story -- just prior to cancellation of shade meeting, Venice Florida! dot com had questioned the legality of the meetings based on info from the Florida Bar
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 11/06/04

Levine's arrest -- two totally opposite viewpoints
Herald-Trib column ||| Gondo editorial
Herald-Tribune condemns city hall for politically motivated arrest, Gondolier condemns Levine for politically motivated lawsuit; in other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead
-- Gondo from 11/03/04, Herald-Trib from 10/01/02

Calamaras, Willson win; council pay raise passes
Gondo story ||| Herald-Trib story
raw data from SRQ Supervisor of Elections
-- all 11/03/04

To Dean or not to Dean, that is the question
The race for mayor of Venice has become a referendum on Dean Calamaras
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 10/31/04

Levine to Calamaras: You Got Served
Gondo story ||| Herald-Trib story
VTL prez asked, waited 22 months for an apology from city hall for a politically motivated false arrest in 2002, finally files lawsuit against city, mayor and former officials responsible; mayor responds by accusing Levine of being politically motivated; in other news, Amazon.com reports increased sales in board games
-- both stories 10/30/04

Ooooooooh - bad timing, Marty
Marty Dover sounds off on Levine in a letter to the Gondo, gets municipal Get Out Of Jail Free card in return
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 10/30/04

"We're from city hall and we're here to help"
City, local businesses in uneasy stare-down over the CRA; in other news, Babe's Hardware reports skyrocketing sales in torches and pitchforks
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 10/27/04

12-year-old Molly Kornblatz from Kenosha writes, "Dear Perfessor Venice: Why do Shade Meetings happen?"
Here comes the science...
-- The Florida Bar Journal Online, April, 2004

EPA criminal investigation to send council into the shade
City Attorney is calling for shade meeting to discuss ongoing criminal investigation into city's wastewater operations
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 10/23/04

Harris, Schneider face off at Taxpayers League debate
Gondo story ||| Herald-Trib story
Medicare, the war in Iraq dominate discussion; Gondo story includes brief accounts of mayoral and council debates
-- various sources, 10/22, 10/23/04

Herald-Trib barely endorses Calamaras
"Toting tattered baggage, ...did not adequately oversee the work of a former city manager, ...unnecessary, lengthy fight with the [FAA], ...must shoulder a share of the blame" -- Now that's a glowing endorsement; Anderson referred to as combative and inexperienced
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 10/15/04

Hunt and carnage, Hunt and carnage -- this I tell you brother, you can't have one without the other
Barefoot Bay Community Manager George Hunt lacks one thing: a community
-- Associated Press, 10/10/04

Top ten things you didn't know about Mohamed Atta
How well do you really know Venice's most famous resident? ...er, former resident?
-- Mad Cow Morning News

It was the other guy's fault
Anderson blames Calamaras, Calamaras supporters blame former city manager Hunt, Hunt unavailable for comment; Venice Florida! dot com's Patten violates Leviticus 19:17, city charter calls for stoning
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 10/08/04

The battle for web supremacy
Candidate web sites in Venice become a hot topic; Venice Florida! dot com's Patten and Venice Resident's McKee are now pundits
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 10/02/04

Go ahead, forget Poland
Turns out that Poland would just as soon have been forgotten -- back in March of this year, Polish President Aleksander Kwasniewski stated that Bush had "...deceived us about the weapons of mass destruction, ...we were taken for a ride!"
-- ABC Australia, 03/19/04

HAIDS
Florida's new epidemic: Hurricane Acquired Inhospitable Domain Syndrome; population fleeing to California because earthquakes are safer
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/30/04

Fogie walks on battery charge
Former VHA Chairman Foglietta's attorney Robert Harrison wasn't the only one available for comment, but he's the only one the Gondo quoted (original police report)
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 09/29/04

Reclaim is on death row
Wastewater pooch bites vendor, now faces lethal injection; wants Robert Harrison for an attorney, has yet to be allowed to make a phone call
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 09/29/04

More poop
Straight poop about spilled poop still equals spilled poop; Captain Underpants will not be coming to the rescue
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/28/04

Jimmy Carter on e-voting in Florida
"Some basic international requirements for a fair election are missing in Florida;" Michael Moore, Jeb Bush unavailable for comment
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/27/04

The cover-up continues
One of City Manager Marty Black's evil henchmen comes forward to deny that Black ever had any intent on world domination; meanwhile, Venice Florida! dot com has discovered missile silos at the airport and a secret command center buried under city hall -- film at 11:00
-- letters, Venice Gondolier Sun, 09/25/04

Zis Marty Black, he is, how you say, a slippery fellow, no?
Herald-Trib shifts into full suck-up mode after debacle of past week; higher taxes and user fees are now a good thing, really higher taxes and really higher user fees will be a really good thing -- no, really
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/25/04

House Atreides eyes North Port
Paul Atreides and Fremen work crews look to relocate spice farms, North Port will be ideal location in just a few years
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 09/22/04

Herald-Trib searches city hall, finds no WMDs
After accusing City Manager Marty Black of attempted world domination, the Herald-Trib backs off, admits it may have made a mistake; paper still convinced Dr. Evil is on city payroll, is attempting to locate Austin Powers
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/23/04

Show me the money
Who owns stock in the VGA? The public has a right to know!!!
(Venice Florida! dot com's Patten gets a nice mention)
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/22/04

Venice is not going to get its own militia
Herald-Trib article (linked-to below) apparently caused by LSD in the H-T's drinking water
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 09/22/04

Annexation is a money loser
North Port is on its way to an economic implosion (Herb Levine's favorite book, Bigger Not Better, gets a plug)
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/21/04

Venice to get its own militia, will conquer and annex
H-T gets the news scoop of the year: City manager amassing weapons, army; armed invasion of Pelican Pointe, Venice Acres and Venice Palms is imminent, long term goals include war with North Port
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/21/04

Remembering Geri
Geri Weinberg made Venice a better place
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/20/04

Coming soon to an eBay auction near you: Grove Terrace
Selling the HUD land will do a better job at whitening the town than opening a Clorox factory
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/19/04

Herald-Trib wakes up, notices the utilities whistleblowers
Paper finally:
a.) acknowledges something that we had been reporting for months -- that the FBI was (and probably still is) investigating city hall;
b.) takes a stand in support of the whistleblowers (now that it's politically safe to do so); and
c.) urges the EPA to continue on in the investigation (again, now that it's politically safe)
Our take: whoop-de-frickin'-doo, where the hell have you guys been?
-- uselessly late and self-serving editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/18/04

Weirdest hurricane in memory -- Anyone remember Elena?
In 1985, Elena skimmed up the west coast of Florida and was ready to slam into Tampa, and that's when things started getting seriously weird: Elena skidded to a halt just before making landfall in Tampa, stood still for three days terrorizing the entire Florida west coast (where's she gonna go?), then abruptly split and whacked the heck out of a surprised Mississippi coastline with destructive winds of up to 125 MPH
St. Pete Times story
NASA pic
Elena's track
-- various sources found in a Google search

The Bob Show gets mixed reviews from council
City attorney Bob Anderson does well in 20- to 35-year-old target demographic; unfortunately, nobody on council fits the demographic
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/17/04

Hurricane from Hell
Add this new word to your vocabulary: "hypercane," a hurricane with winds up to 500 MPH; it's theoretically possible, but it'd take a meteor slamming into the ocean to set it off
-- reprint from Discover Magazine, April 1995

Who's sorry now?
City mumbles out an apology to utilities whistleblowers
-- Tom Lyons column, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/16/04

Ivan may just be a messenger
Hurricane Ivan is among the most powerful Atlantic storms in recent history, and more such storms are likely in the future due to global warming, say climate experts
-- Wired, 09/15/04

Weinberg passes away
Taxpayers League vice-president Geri Weinberg passes away one day after endorsing mayoral candidate Gary Anderson; Mayor Calamaras gives shortest eulogy in memory at council meeting
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/15/04

Evans and Petitt get green
Gondo story ||| Herald-Trib story
City agrees to pay $25,000 each to Evans and Petitt in whistleblower settlement; Evans to spend his settlement on wax lips and comic books, Petitt is spotted prowling in Home Depot electric tools aisle (Gondo front page photo of Evans)
-- both stories 09/15/04

Anderson in a china shop
Mayoral candidate Gary Anderson goes bovine in a letter to the Herald-Trib, porcelain cleanup may take days
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/14/04

Venice is a little less beachy today
15 feet of sand goes hasta luego thanks to Frances; beachfront developers shudder in horror
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/07/04

County asks residents to get their s**t together
Hooked up to county sewer? Hold it in for a few days
-- Sarasota County Government, 09/06/04

Eat the city attorney
It's always a good time for a bad idea -- Herald-Trib resurrects a dead cat
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 09/04/04

Meyer is hot
Attorney for the three EPA whistleblowers announces a tentative settlement with the city, former city manager George Hunt unavailable for frothy comment
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 09/01/04

Hanks is hot
Gondo's Tommy McIntyre came to praise the police chief, not to bury him; FDLE to start investigation into the disappearance of real Tommy McIntyre and into the remarkably lifelike replacement that has been posing as the Gondo reporter
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 09/01/04

Mayor to the Boone law firm: You lying sacks of bloated protoplasm
Boones accuse the mayor of making secret agreements, trying to postpone VGA discussions until after the election
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 08/28/04

City's water testing lab out of compliance since April, 2003
No point in firing those responsible -- been there, done that, bought the lab smock
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 08/25/04

Venice came out of Charley OK?
Mixed signals, confusion and conflicting information was no problem in Venice, but only because Charley went elsewhere
Gondo story, 08/21/04
Herald-Trib editorial, 08/24/04

Where's the beef bid?
Herald-Trib ain't exactly thrilled with City Manager Marty Black over the no-bid deal that landed OMI's contract with the city, and that's putting it mildly
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 08/19/04

Poop
Same story, different crew -- yet another sewage spill into Hatchett Creek
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 08/19/04

Mr. Otto at the Olympics
Bruno Bozzetto's hysterical cartoon spoof, owing an obvious debt to the classic Warner Bros. cartoons
-- Datacomm

Where the streets have no name
Gondo Story ||| Herald-Trib story
Wastewater plant's roads renamed from John Ln and Wilson Way to 'this street here' and 'that road there;' the fact that John Lane's and Pat Wilson's jobs were terminated minutes before the street renamings is purely an accidental coincidence
-- both stories dated 08/18/04

John Lane has an idea
oxymoron -- n. -- A statement or phrase in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined, as in a deafening silence and a mournful optimist
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 08/07/04

We've gotta put somethin' there, we just gotta
Economics, the Fates and now the Herald-Trib have dictated that airport land must and will be developed -- manifest destiny and all that crap; on the upside, former councilman David Farley is reportedly as giddy as a 12-year-old girl
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 08/07/04

Is Fark selling out?
Paid links? This could be the end of civilization as we know it; Wired prints an inconsequential letter from Venice Florida! dot com
-- Wired, 08/07/04

The Huntification of Black?
No-bid deals were the norm for city hall under Hunt; Herald-Trib is worried that the practice hasn't stopped
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 08/06/04

Katherine Harris be trippin' her brains out
U.S. Rep, running for re-election here in her home district (groan), still insists that the assmonkeys living under her bed really are trying to eat her brains, Michael Moore unavailable for comment
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 08/05/04

Speaking of assmonkeys...
Herald-Trib to George Hunt: FOAD!
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 08/04/04

Whatever drugs Katherine Harris is on, we want some
One of the core figures of Michael Moore's Fahreneheit 9/11 film now says terrorists were arrested in Indiana and assmonkeys are living under her bed; authorities in Indiana deny terrorist story, Moore confirms assmonkeys
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 08/04/04

Phase 1: Give some developers the keys to the airport, let them put some bricks and windows together
Phase 2: ???
Phase 3: Profit!
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 08/03/04
-- (underpants gnomes unavailable for comment)

Public, county input a moot point in utilities management
Gondo story ||| Herald-Trib story
NEW LINK 08/03/04: Herald Trib editorial
On August 16, public input will be "welcomed" on utilities management plans -- plans that will already be a done deal; county wants a shot at running Venice utils, city says no way, Jos
-- both stories 07/30/04, editorial 08/03/04

Kash n' Karry gets Farked
Farkers weigh in on 89-year-old Alzheimer's patient arrested for shoplifting
-- Fark.com, 07/30/04

H-T pitches for Sarasota Memorial takevoer of Venice's only hospital
-- editorial, Sarasota-Herald-Tribune, 07/30/04

Venice formally admits to spills
Today is fess-up day: city manager, mayor and city attorney are scheduled to sign a consent order with the DEP recognizing the city's dumping of raw sewage and of excessive quantities of treated waste water (second item on page)
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 07/30/04

City manager balances utilities budget the hard way
Gondo Story ||| Herald-Trib story
Municipal guillotine unveiled
-- both stories 07/28/04

A bone to pick
City should clear up lease dispute with VGA
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 07/27/04

Hunt, North Port break up just before the first date
"It's not you, George, it's me -- I'm just not ready to make a commitment"
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 07/27/04

Where was city's inspector?
Former Venice city engineering inspector has a couple of questions regarding the current utils department problems
-- letters, Sarasota Herld-Tribune, 07/23/04

Mayor's race is on
It's official -- Calamaras is running for re-election, says he's running on his record; opponent Anderson also running on Calamaras' record; grab your popcorn and sit back, this one is going to get real interesting, real fast
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 07/23/04

North Port braces itself for the majestic awesomeness that is known as Hunt
"He's a fine young man, ...but he's not the one for us"
-- North Port Sun-Herald, 07/21/04

They paved paradise and put up another huge-ass clone 'n drone subdivision
The booning of Venice continues just outside the city limits
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 07/22/04

Hunt to try for North Port manager's job
It'd be a boon for the Boones, anyway; here's hoping nobody in North Port uses Google
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 07/21/04

New utilities budget gives John Lane a pay cut
A really big one at that
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 07/21/04

Up to our eyeballs in poop
Gondo story ||| Gondo editorial
Herald-Trib editorial
Tacy wants Lane's head on a platter, local papers finally waking up to something that Venice Florida! dot com has been saying for over a year -- the utilities department needs a total revamp
-- all stories 07/17/04

Council on utilities department: "Mismanagement across the board"
Cardinal Construction wants another $1.8 million in overruns, DEP wants $68,000 in fines, the department's budget has a $185,000 hole, sewers are exploding all over town and there's no money to fix them, no plans to replace them; other than that, things are just peachy
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 07/16/04

The wind cries poop
75 sewage spills so far this year; city hall to public: Plenty more where that came from
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 07/15/04

Lost and Found Department-- Found: very large cat
Please claim soon, we cannot afford to feed it and we are running out of neighborhood children
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 07/14/04

VGA gets a media double whammy
Gondo story ||| Herald-Trib editorial
Gondo reports that the paw park lease is dead thanks to Larry Heath in city's Public Works; Herald-Trib's editorial asks for VGA to (gulp) open their financial records
-- both stories 07/14/04

Of course we're doing everything on the up and up, that's why we stopped doing it
An unnamed "resident" harassed the utils department into packing up and leaving an asbestos concrete job site -- can't imagine who that unnamed "resident" would be
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 07/14/04

George, could you speak a little closer to my lapel?
Gondo's coverage of the FBI bugging of city hall and former city manager George Hunt
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 07/10/04

Well, we could always have a bake sale
John Lane's utilities budget is $185,000 shy of operating expenses; anyone know what the combined salaries of John Lane and Patricia Wilson are?
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 07/10/04

Lane admits long-denied sewage spill
After years of denial (and referring to this web site and his own employees as liars and worse), the utils director admits that his department did spill sewage during Tropical Storm Gabrielle; it was just a little spill, though, nothing to get worked up about, honest!
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 06/30/04

Vox populi
Ustjay evernay aysay eferendumray
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 06/27/04

WHOA NELLY -- CITY ADMITS TO DUMPING SEWAGE
and the walls came tumbling down
After years of denials, legal fees and employee smackdowns, City Manager Marty Black suggests a new and novel tactic in dealing with DEP and EPA investigations into deliberate sewage spills and falsified records: telling the truth
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 06/26/04

Public??? We don't need no stinkin' publ... oh wait, maybe we do
City council decides to not decide yet on airport development, wants to hear from you, Mr. and Mrs. America
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 06/25/04

Stay cool in the shade with this summer's hottest reading
Herald-Trib's book review of the FAA shade meeting transcripts; Venice Florida! dot com gets a nice mention
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 06/24/04

WCI is out, Miller may be back in after all
Boones get a smackdown, their client, WCI, pays the price
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 06/23/04

"Oh council, I think you've got some splainin' to do..."
Herald-Trib now wants the list of VGA owners (ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy)
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 06/22/04

Miller is out, WCI is in
Henry Ranch builders get the insider track, condos still in the plans (here comes the civil war)
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 06/19/04

Anthony Tundo is a nice guy
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 06/16/04

Anthony Tundo is not a nice guy
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 06/16/04

Alas Shane -- I knew him
Utils supervisor Shane Saputo beheads himself, hands head to city; dismembered gourd still yapping
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 06/12/04

Not your typical barber ad
This tiny ad, from the June 9 print edition of the Gondolier Sun, carried a wallop and caught a number of folks by surprise
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 06/09/04

Venice's architectural review board is clinically insane
Plans to Baker Act the board are in the works
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 06/12/04

Funniest Fark thread. Ever.
-- Fark.com

Big load o' crap -- Herald-Trib sells out big time
Unabashed and unapologetic shilling for developers and big business is the purpose of a new web site -- ManasotaHousing.com; the site itself doesn't give a clue as to what organization is publishing it; according to Network Solutions, the domain name is owned by the Herald-Trib, which is owned by the NY Times
-- ManasotaHousing.com

Conservatives really do have a sense of humor
Who knew?
-- The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler

Oh yeah? Annex this, pal!!!
Herald-Trib story ||| Gondo Story
City, county in an administrative tug of war over 800+ acre tract; planning commissioner Benny Weaver and VTL prez Herb Levine are strangely singing the same tune
-- both stories 06/09/04

VHA going to hell in a handbasket
Brad Baker has a proven record in helping out HUD communities, so the VHA desperately wants to hear him out... nah, just kidding, they're doing the typical Venice thing by telling Baker to do something anatomically impossible
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 05/26/04

Florida to spend $3.2 million to get Fark to stop using its Florida tag for weird news stories
The 2000 election caused the news site to invent a category just for Florida stories; Florida is now trying to clean up its electoral act (plus comments from Fark)
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/25/04

Sarasota's and Venice's hospitals should marry
Yeah, but would it be a Catholic wedding? Former councilman Earl Midlam pokes his head out of his foxhole and takes a shot at local health care
-- letters, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/25/04

But he's such a good boy and he looks so cute in uniform
City Councilman John Moore sent Dustin Turner to prison for 82 years for Turner's involvement in the murder of Jennifer Evans -- this was in 1996 when Moore was a judge in Virginia; now there's a movement to get a governor's pardon for "Dusty"
-- FreeDusty.com

Dude, where's my squad car?
Deputies arrest crackhead, place him alone in squad car without handcuffs, leave keys in ignition; Keystone-styled hilarity ensues (2nd item on page)
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/23/04

Putting the business back in the Venice Airport Business Park
Arguably Larry Evans' finest editorial piece to date
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/23/04

North Port real estate swindles are back
Wanna buy some swampland?
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/23/04

Boxing returns to Grove Terrace
Police cancel opening card due to licensing problems, residents instead watch rerun of Patten-Foglietta bout from last year
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 05/22/04

Former City of Bronson mayor pleads guilty to grand theft, organized scheme to defraud
FDLE nails a couple of politicos in the small town; yo guys, any time you cops want to visit Venice, it's cool with us
-- FDLE, 05/20/04

Jeff Boone knows what it's like to be little brother stuck with hand-me-downs
Oh horse crap, what next? In other news, pigs fly, cure for cancer found and hell freezes over
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/21/04

Half of Venice is running for office
Amos still holding out
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/16/04

Federal OPM ends diploma mill acceptance
Hmmmmm.... I wonder....... Naaaaahhhhhh.......
-- FCW.com, 05/14/04

City finds asbestos in four HUD apartments
Utils Director John Lane unavailable for comment (with pic)
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 05/15/04

Brad Baker returns to Venice with plans to remake Grove Terrace
VHA exec Lopez considers Baker's plan as "one of many options" worth ignoring, still leaning towards training the rats as a cheaper solution for the low-income housing project
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 05/12/04

Sarasota is soooooo gay
PrideFest 2004 a huge success
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/09/04

City fines HUD housing complex for rats
VHA exec Peter Lopez begs for more time, thought they were small dogs
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 05/08/04

Council perks
In a review of what has to be close to the lowest paying salaried job in America, the H-T notes that council members get health insurance and free t-shirts
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/07/04

Why develop the airport at all?
Seriously, what's the freakin' hurry?
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/06/04

Don't go near the water
Water around pier (and, coincidentally, the recently closed Island Wastewater plant) has high bacteria count again; runoff from construction is blamed, or maybe it's bird poop; yeah, that's the ticket, it's runoff and bird poop
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/05/04

Former Huffman exec Rudi Dekkers named in Federal complaint
Saudis and mobsters and drugs, oh my! (story on the left side of page)
-- Mad Cow Morning News, 05/03/04

On advice of attorney, we are not linking to this story
Exactly what kind of animal crawled up Tommy McIntyre's ass and died, anyway?
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 05/01/04

Venice's airport finances baffles Herald-Tribune
H-T gets another new cub reporter assigned to Venice, destined to be transferred to Bradenton once the editor learns his name; in the meantime, we get quotes like "The city plans to lease the land so that taxpayers will no longer have to support the airport" (note to H-T -- the airport is self-sufficient, tax money does not support the airport)
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/04/04

First California, then Ireland rejects e-voting
A faraway land known for green
Considers a new voting scheme
Words that rhyme with Nantucket
And ducat and bucket
Are aimed at the e-vote machines
-- The Register, 05/03/04

There oughtta be a law
The answer to spyware and virus attacks on consumer computers? More legislation... yeah, that'll work
-- editorial, Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/03/04

Bon Secours Hospital tries to quell rumors
PR strategy backfiring as community concerns grow
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/02/04

California's Secretary of State bans ALL e-vote machines, recommends criminal charges against Diebold
Four computer-science reports released in the last year showed the technology to be badly designed and vulnerable to hacking
-- Wired, 04/30/04

Gulf Coast Foundation raises $15,000 for sewage-flooded church
Not in story: Waterford's Mike Miller donated $10,000
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 05/01/04

Lane denies asbestos mishandling; Gondo phones it in
Nobody from the Gondo was actually at the council meeting when Lane spoke; as a result some of the paper's account of his presentation to council is, well, interesting anyway
-- Venice Gondolier Sun, 04/28/04

Hospital in trouble
Bon Secours Hospital in Venice is in shaky health
-- Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 04/28/04