My wife for council and the rest of you can FOAD!
With the CQG in a near-total power vacuum, political bottom-feeders are already jockeying for position in what will likely be one of the most contentious local elections ever this coming November. First out of the gate appears to be an alliance between current Councilwoman Vicki Noren-Taylor and Planning Commissioner Janis Fawn, as Fawn's husband, Winston Wilmore, has engaged in a frantic email publicity campaign aimed at elevating his wife and Noren-Taylor and mowing down everyone else.

The problem here is that Wilmore is either very drunk when he sends off these rants or he is clearly insane. Bear in mind -- Wilmore first introduced himself to this writer by physically attacking me during a city council quasi-judicial hearing back in 2007. City employees had to grab Wilmore and throw him out of the council meeting -- twice!

His most recent diatribe is a set of missives on political civility that appear to have been ghost written by Joe Pesci's character in Goodfellas.

His text (below, indented and in italics) was included in my response. Yeah, I know, it was too easy to go after him, it's like beating up on a small child, but I just couldn't resist.

From: John Patten
To: Winston Wilmore and others
Date: 02/18/08

>> On Tuesday - February 17, 2009 8:29 PM, Winston Wilmore rose up from his gin
and beer infested stupor, belched, and spake forth unto Venice with his usual inebriated wit:
>> Pathetic is too good a word for the garbage posted in the middle of my discussion with the Mayor on a matter of "Civility in Politics."

Discussion? Is the city email server now viewed by you as your own personal blog? Would you like your own blog? Seriously? I can do that for you. It would help out as there are some hazardous waste issues in cleaning up the vomit you have been leaving behind on the city's servers. What are those, peas? Did you ever actually consider chewing your food?

>> OK we now know that Mayor Ed Martin was the "medium term observer" who posted a most uncivil rant on a local bloggers web site.

You're a little slow on the uptake there, Sparky. This was no big state secret. This is like, "Holy crap, Ford makes trucks -- who knew?"

Captain Obvious strikes again, Winston bleeds from another hit of the clue-stick as he discovers gravity, the sky, and Teletubbies.

I don't know who this "we" is that you speak of unless you are schizophrenic. Everyone else except you knew it all along, it was about as well hidden a secret as the lame and transparent politicking you are doing to try to take the reins of the CQG on behalf of your wife and your political plans for her (council seat? No, sorry, not yours). The fact that "you" didn't know it all along can only be attributed to your inability to follow a conversation or a series of posts. Maybe it's a Canadian thing, but we speak English down here, not drunken Quebecois, that slurred French that you stagger around town with. We write in English. If you'll take some remedial classes, maybe you'll catch up with the rest of the class. Nobody is hiding any secrets from you, we just didn't know you were too dumb to figure out the obvious. Next time, ask, but don't blame us for your stupidity when you don't.

>> It's a shame that the Mayor cannot find it within himself to apologize to everyone concerned but then that too comes as no surprise.

Why should he apologize? For speaking the truth? Jeebus, Wilmore, you are taking this whiney jilted drama queen Cher / Paris Hilton diva part way too seriously. This is not high school. Did you go to high school? Do they have that in Canada?

Did you ever apologize for... oh, never mind, I'll get to that in a moment. God forbid you should EVER practice what you preach. You are such a little b!7ch. But you're my little b!7ch.

>> It's also true that when the opposition starts to implode the best thing to do is get out of the way. The bloggers intervention on behalf of the Mayor is a case in point and should also tell objective readers that when the Mayor needs that particular blogger to do his talking for him then his supporters need to take stock.

....... yawn ..........

>> I have been critical of the Mayor and some other members of Council but it was never intentionally personal.

Excuse me, my bull$hit alarm just committed suicide and exploded. I need a fire extinguisher.

>> Just read their responses. Personal attacks on critics are exactly what they are all about.

Pot > kettle > black. Personal attacks? Describe for me how you and I first met. It is my recollection that I never even knew you existed when you came out of nowhere and physically attacked me in a drunken rage. It doesn't get more personal than that, ya froggy loon.

>> Insults aimed at me have zero impact.

That would explain your screams of pain and indignation here.

>> In my career I have been insulted by experts.

I can believe that. I absolutely believe that. I believe that 100% times a thousand. I'll bet a lot of that expert insulting happened on various witness stands and at corporate meetings. How sad it is that you are now of so little importance that only rank amateurs like me are left to do cleanup.

>> Next to them these people are rank amateurs.

Like I said, I can believe that.

>> I was correct earlier when I said "pathetic is too good a word."

Yes. Yes you were.

>> A couple of years ago this small city was one of the best ten cities in the United States for retirees. I still believe it is despite what a few, a very few, have tried to drag it down to since their election.

A couple of years ago is the last time anyone in the media would take you or your wife seriously.

Ah, the days of wine and roses, when Art Nadel's swindle was in full bloom, when Fred Hammett and Marty Black were colluding to bring a Marriott onto the airport, when the rest of Venice didn't yet have a clue for the screwing they were in for, and when your wife was politically poised to take over Rick Tacy's seat on council. Yeah, I can see why you have this sudden and besotted interest in nostalgia. Get over it, Uncle Winnie. You tripped on your own **** and there is no going back.

>> Council members should be concentrating on bringing jobs to Venice. Encouraging tourism by promoting the building of hotels and stimulating the entrepreneurial spirit wherever possible. Instead Council is bogged down in Sunshine violations, hangers at the airport, stopping runway rehabilitation, passive park preferences, scrub jays, strict height limits, changing whole areas to architectural preferences that don't even exist there, fighting short term rentals which we need due to the lack of hotels, and failing to aggressively seek State and Federal funds for needed improvements in a multitude of areas.

All things that your previous boys did everything in their power to destroy. It was on their watch that beach land designated for a hotel was turned into a condominium. It was on their watch that PGT had massive layoffs and started threatening to move out of state. Come to think of it, it was Hammett and Grazer that put up the big fight on short-term rentals. Every single problem you just mentioned was initiated and exacerbated by your drinking buddies. When VABA had their press conference way back when, who was it that I saw sucking up to Art Nadel big time at that festive soiree? You, Winston. You couldn't fawn over him enough (pun intended). If you could have been his new girlfriend, you would have leapt at the chance, the look of love was that strong in your eyes. I know -- I was there, I watched that pathetic drool and swoon job with some anger as Nadel had then just recently accused me of hacking into your buddy John Simmonds' computer (and I can't wait for next week in court on that story).

>> Unfortunately the Mayor and the majority of Council are too busy reliving the past.

Eh? Wait.. what>? They are and you are not... and... WTF? What the hell are you drinking, exactly?

>> Doubly sad when you remember who won the last two elections by defeating people who truly loved this town and who still work hard in a variety of volunteer activities. When was the last time you saw our "new" Council members out at a ribbon cutting celebrating the opening of a new business?

Thanks to you and yours approving every development idea that came along, business and banking came to a screaching halt. It is not this council's fault that Mike Miller's projects have come to a screaching halt and that banks are circling like vultures. You can thank the greed and feed culture that you long to return to to, the days of whine and thievery.

>> It's still not too late for a couple of Council members to change their allegiance and to say to themselves "I didn't sign up for this."

What, are you pretending to be a spokesman for Satan, now? Sell your soul to Uncle Winnie, Venice's low-rent Beelzebub. Sign on the dotted (beeee-eeelch) line. Step right up, folks, first ten souls get toasted... ummmmm, I mean a toaster. Cue the Charlie Daniels' devil-with-a-fiddle music.... now!

It is too late, Uncle Winnie. This is an entirely new world, one robbed of its wealth by greedy bastards like yourself, one that needs to be rebuilt with vision and care, not by an outdated build and build business model. It is too late for you and your named friends -- you got us into this mess. I don't think I want to trust you to get us out.

>> Just step away and rethink what's best for the voters you swore to represent.

O Canada
Our home and native land
Come and take your nutters back
Their ravings are out of hand.

>> Thank you for reading.
>> E. Winston Wilmore

No prob. You are funny. You're no Thurber, but you are funny. Thurber. Thur-ber. He was an American writer. They probably didn't teach him in Canada, although you should read him. Sounds like "The Night The Bed Fell" [http://english.glendale.cc.ca.us/bedfell.html] is an any-given-night occurrence at your house.

"What a hockey-puck!" -- Don Rickles
 
-- John Patten
-- Venice Florida! dot com

John Patten is the head of Web Operations for Creative Pages, and has worked in broadcasting for over 12 years. He can also be incredibly rude at times.